Comedy Week: Greatest Stand-Up Feuds

Comedians seem like a supportive bunch, rarely making enemies among themselves. That's wonderful, really, but we like the idea of great comic minds going at each other outside of an all-in-fun roast.

(Comedy Central's Insider likes the idea too, so much that they've taken to encouraging faux ones for the highly entertaining Comedy Feud Friday).

Hungry for the real deal? Here's a list of five comedian conflicts:

 

• Carlos Mencia vs. Joe Rogan (link NSFW)
  Rogan has long accused Mencia of stealing other comedians' jokes. One night, he said it right to his face, on his stage.

  Advantage: Draw. Rogan could be on to something, and we admire his resolve to step up to a confrontation, but we can't help but feel bad for the audience that paid to see Mencia and got that instead. Plus, in the end, Mencia still has a big Comedy Central show, and Rogan was banned from the Comedy Store.

 

• Andy Dick vs. Jon Lovitz
  This battle of the nerds escalated way past name-calling and led to bloodshed.

  Advantage: Lovitz. Violence isn't the answer, but Andy Dick is widely regarded as a complete mess (and the Phil Hartman "joke" was out of line) so we're all left wondering if he may have had it coming.

 

• Dave Chappelle vs. Dane Cook
  They haven't taken to flinging personal insults — and we hope they never do — but these dudes are determined to hold the endurance crown.

  Advantage: Cook. Until Chappelle decides to challenge the record again.

 

• David Cross vs. Patton Oswalt
  Mr. "Ratatouille" said he threw the "Alvin and the Chipmunks" script across the room in disgust., and David Cross caught it. Burn! Cross countered that he'd love to turn such terrible projects down, but failed at buying a house using only indie credibility. Zing! Then Oswalt responded that it was all an in-joke that Cross forgot, or something. Snore.

  Advantage: Cross. Each comes off sounding like he deserves a swift elbow to the nose, so it comes down to selected output. And "Chipmunks"/"Arrested Development"/"Mr. Show" trumps "Ratatouille"/"King of Queens"/"Reno 911."

 

• Arsenio Hall vs. Roseanne
  One in a long list of celebrities Hall clashed with, only Roseanne ripped him back as part of her act.

  Advantage: Roseanne. Hall nailed her for not looking good in a bathing suit, but being fat was a part of her routine and sitcom. The comedienne slammed Arsenio for being a nerd, which didn't exactly jibe with his hip talk-show persona.

 

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