Though it might feel like TV just came back (it did!) it's already finale season.
"Cold Case" and "Family Guy" have said goodbye for the summer. "30 Rock" and "Scrubs" sign off tonight (in the case of "Scrubs," forever — at least on that network). And there will be hearts broken, final roses given out and fortunes won next week when "Survivor," "America's Next Top Model," "Beauty and the Geek" and "The Bachelor" all crown their champs.
It's been a strange season of stops and starts, but letting go of our favorite shows is still a big deal.
Here is a list of the five finales we will be watching ... and why we're not sad to say "so long."
4."How I Met Your Mother" (5/19) Britney Spears is actually a good comedic actress. Wait, she's on the week before? Oh. Well, we still look forward to Neil Patrick magic.
3. "The Office" (5/15) We expect an engagement, but even if that doesn't happen, it's time for a reboot.
2. "Lost" (5/29) We'll need the summer to decode everything we've seen this season.
1. "American Idol" (5/21) Every year, someone proclaims that this is the worstseasonever, but we're starting to believe it this time.
Yeah, we get it. The Monitor was much more interested to learn that Def Leppard has a new disc out today. And then we looked at the Songs From the Sparkle Loungetracklist. Surely this is another (this time terribly ill-conceived) covers album, we thought. "Come Undone"? "Only the Good Die Young"? "Tomorrow"?
Nope, turns out the music is all new and all original. Which is great and all, but now we feel cheated. Now we may never hear what Lep would do with a classic "Annie" show tune.
Imagine along with us, won't you? Here's the tracklist, and our guess on its source material:
Hero is a little boy from Korea who really likes the Beatles. When he was three, and still in diapers, Hero stood on a couch and recorded a series of Beatles covers which were posted on YouTube. "Self-motivation is what differentiates Hero from other child musicians like Michael Jackson who was forced to practice as a child," according to Hero's YouTube profile, which notes that he's learned all 27 songs on The Beatles' 1 on his own.
You've probably seen his pretty accurate (right down to the "Better, better, BETTER, AAAAHHHHH!") and completely adorable take on "Hey Jude," which has become a huge viral hit in recent days, almost a year after it went live. But just in case you've missed it, here is that "Hey Jude" again, followed by our four favorite other Hero performances ... which are better than about half of the "American Idol" contestants'take on the Beatles.
Are you lost when it comes to "Lost?" Of course there is always something I'm lost with on the show, but rather than spending several days listing all of my unanswered questions, I'm listing the most important unanswered questions about "Lost"'s looks into the future.
Remember, the last episodes were taking us into flash-forward mode with all of the Oceanic Six survivors. So in ascending order of importance, I give you the Top 10 Unanswered Questions About "Lost" Flash-Forwards:
Hey, remember that time Whitney Houston was on "Silver Spoons," and she sang in the nightclub to Dexter, except she changed the words to "Saving All My Love for You" to make it more family friendly? We do.
Sure, you see them on Letterman, Leno, Kimmel, "Idol" and "SNL," but once in a while, musicians will put on a show where you least expect them. In honor of TV Week and Concerts day, we present the Top 10 Unconventional Musical Guest Appearances.
3. The Who on "The Simpsons" (Sorry, no video. Add to the list.)
2. Whitney Houston on "Silver Spoons"
1. Davy Jones on "The Brady Bunch"
Did the Flaming Lips on "90210" blow your mind back in the day? Did you realize that "iCarly" was following a long tradition of bands on sitcoms? What's your favorite musical TV moment? Let us know.
Every time The Garden announces an addition to the concert lineup I gear up. How so, you may ask? I gear up with my iTunes. Let me put it this way — if a civilization from a galaxy far, far away were ever to find my iTunes library many years from now, they would not be able to tell my age, gender, cultural background or whether I was even a member of the human race.
In honor of my iTuning conquest, and a countdown to the Jay-Z/Mary J. Blige shows coming up in May, here is what I've decided are a MUST FIVE on the list. (Sorry, Mary J. but I'm all about the J — the Jay-Z).
There's still a month or so to go before most high schools hold their biggest dance, but tonight is prom night all the same, with an update of the 1980 slasher flick "Prom Night" opening in theaters right about now.
The Monitor cannot come up with a better way to spend a Friday night than by yelling at a bunch of big-screen kids in formal wear making really bad choices. "Don't open that closet! Come ON!! Are you trying to get killed!?!" And now we also can't stop thinking about prom movies. Here's our Top 10 favorite big-screen depictions of the big dance.
10. "Never Been Kissed"
"I don't care about being the prom queen. I am 25 years old."
9. "Just One of the Guys" Where better to reveal your big transgender secret than at a formal event?
Are you counting down the minutes? No, not the minutes until you get sprung from your office -- though The Monitor has heard that it is beautiful out there. We're talking about the time remaining until 8:30 p.m., when new episodes of "30 Rock" return to TV, followed by new episodes of "The Office."
Oh, "30 Rock." How we have missed you. Back on December 6, when we had no idea how much impact the writers strike would have on our life uh, TV viewing, we posted a little top 10 list of our favorite Thursday night TV quotes of the year. It was fun to compile, but given the circumstances, it has hurt to look back. Only now that we know we're 300 or so minutes away from laughs courtesy of Liz Lemon and her merry band of weirdos, are we ready to revisit it.
Here are the two "30 Rock" moments that made the top 10, with three newer ones thrown in for good measure:
January 10, 2008: "That's the devil's temperature." Kenneth explains why he doesn't drink coffee or other hot beverages.
December 13, 2007 "That's not a Christmas tree. It's a way to lure tourists into the basement for $20 salads." Kenneth decodes Rockefeller Center's holiday showpiece
December 6, 2007 "I like seeing a women with ambition. It's like seeing a dog wear clothes." Jack Donaghy on his congresswoman squeeze C.C.
October 25, 2007: "Don't make me ever talk to a woman that old again."
Jack Donaghy after a conversation with Rosemary (played by Carrie Fisher)
January 18, 2007: "It's like having Confederate money."
Liz Lemon on tough-to-cash $100 bills
Happy TV watching, all. And remember, two weeks from now, "Ugly Betty" and "Grey's Anatomy" return too. This excitement is almost too much to bear.
That's right, The Monitor hasn't forgotten that Clooney started in comedy. That's why, in honor of his comedy "Leatherheads" — in theaters today — we've listed his five greatest comedic moments, from the early years.
So does "Leatherheads" live up to this great comedic legacy? We haven't seen it yet, but you can check out Scott Lasky's and Jimmy Cavallo's Reel Deel review of the film right here:
Thanks to Bob Weir and RatDog's upcoming three-night run at the Beacon Theater, May's Jammy Awards and the fun of last week's Clown Name Generator,The Monitor has been thinking a lot about what we'd name our jam band (you know, if we had a jam band).
Rum and Monkey's Jam Band Name Generator came up with Rare Noodle Odyssey, which is just perfect, but it doesn't quite make our list of the Top 10 Most Amazing Jam Band Names:
"American Zombie" opens today, and while it is clearly a real documentary about real zombies really living in Los Angeles (really!), there's something about it that makes The Monitor fondly recall all of the fake documentaries we've enjoyed over the years.
It only makes sense that The Greatest Show on Earth would be a fantastic show on screen. Here is our list of nine films (and one very epic HBO series) that capture the magic of the circus ... you know, for the 49-or-so weeks per year that the big top isn't at an arena near you.
10. Circus of Horrors
Important lesson: Background check the heck out of any potential ringmasters.
5. "Trapeze"
Burt Lancaster is one heck of an acrobat. And Gina Lollobrigida isn't tough to watch either.
4. "Seven Faces of Dr. Lao"
Tony Randall's traveling circus features Medusa, the Loch Ness Monster and the Abominable Snowman!
3. "Charlie Chaplin: The Circus"
The silent comedy master walks a tightrope with monkeys, does a stint in a lion cage and makes magic in a fun house maze.
2. "Dumbo"
A real heartbreaker, but imagine seeing an elephant fly? That's entertainment.
1. "The Greatest Show on Earth"
Cecil B. DeMille goes to the circus, brings Charlton Heston and Jimmy Stewart and cleans up at the Oscars.
Jonas Brothers fans are serious about representing their devotion to the band — creating hundredsofamazingfansites and sporting some of the best accessories on the market.
Sure, there are the calendars, posters and (really quite nice) hoodies. But what band doesn't offer those?
The Monitor took a look at the JB merch over at their store site and left impressed by the options. When the Jonas Brothers tour arrives at The Garden on August 10, we expect to see thousands of really excited fans ... and a whole lot of really exciting gear.
Check out our five favorite Jonas Brothers products — and why we've put 'em on our conceptual shopping list:
Counting Crows' latest album, Saturday Nights and Sunday Mornings hit stores
today. Let's count with them, shall we? Here's the band by the numbers:
1: Number of the times they played NYC's the Academy (their first New York show, opening for Suede, October 15, 1993).
2: Number of "Friends" stars that Crows singer Adam Duritz has dated: Jennifer Aniston and Courteney Cox.
3: Number of hugely significant historical figures name-checked in song titles: "Einstein on the Beach," "Jumping Jesus," "When I Dream of Michaelangelo."
4: Number of Apple store gigs the band is playing to promote their newest LP.
5: Number of studio albums that band has put out. Count with me: August and Everything After, Recovering the Satellites, This Desert Life, Hard Candy, Saturday Nights and Sunday Mornings.
6: Number of years since the band's last album (2002's Hard Candy).
Everybody loves a clown. Well, except for all of those people who are terrified of them. Red noses and big shoes don't send us running for cover, but even the clown-fearing have to admit that a good clown is a great thing.
6. Homey the Clown
Clowning didn't come naturally to Homey — it came as part of his parole. He isn't cheerful or good with children, but he certainly is
funny.
5. Emmett Kelly Jr.
He isn't the originator of the sad clown, and he isn't quite as iconic as his dad, but you can't discount his contributions to clownart.
4. Emmett Kelly Sr.
This circus clown delivered a mixed bag — his slapstick act got laughs, but the hobo origins of his sad-clown look was no joke. He was also a hero, who valiantly tried to stop the deadly Hartford Circus Fire.
3. Patch Adams
Is laughter the best medicine? Hey, it certainly can't hurt to try.
Critics hate it. "Shutter" and/or "Meet the Browns" will probably beat it at the box office. But while "Drillbit Taylor" may not be a winner, it can't be all bad. Come on, it stars Owen Wilson! Isn't that enough? Well, it should be.
Here's 10 reasons why Wilson deserves more respect than "Drillbit Taylor" is getting:
In a world obsessed with surgical enhancements, he keeps that nose.
"You know how they say we only use 10 percent of our brains. I think we only use 10 percent of our hearts." OK, that was his "Wedding Crashers" character, not Wilson himself, but he sure did sell it.
"Chocolate Rain" singer Tay Zonday is a champion! Yay! Obama Girl and Chris Crocker are losers. Aww.
At midnight, we learned the winners of the second annual YouTube Awards, 12 prizes — in categories ranging from politics to adorable (if only more award shows had an "adorable" category!) — presented to the top user-created videos of the year as determined by YouTube user votes.
Without further ado, The Monitor presents the 2007 You Tube Video Award Winners:
Can't believe "Leave Britney Alone" is only a year old? Want to explain the many ways in which "How to Solve A Rubik's Cube (Part One)" has enhanced your life? Tell us about it.
Today's PSAs are very focused on making sure kids know that smoking and using drugs are terrible. Important issues, no doubt, but there are some finer points to being a healthy human and a good neighbor.
The Monitor looks back at our top five favorite public service announcements from a simpler time. We hope you learn your lesson.
1. Don't mistake pills for candy:
2. Stop wasting water:
3. Brush your teeth:
4. Never confuse a subway train with a garbage can:
5. Sometimes you should clean up other people's messes:
What's the greatest lesson you've learned from a one-minute TV spot? Share the wealth!
It's a huge day for DVD releases, with major blockbusters, Oscar nominees and inspiring exercises in total weirdness all in stores now.
Here's The Monitor's top five new release picks, each one accompanied by its trailer, Tomatometer rating and an alternate pick (in the rare case that you can't get your hands on it).
